Dear friends and family,
I’ve been thinking this week— and by “I’ve been thinking,” I mean “I feel like my mind hasn’t stopped racing in a while and it’s time to come to a conclusion or die trying.” Figuratively speaking, of course.
A lot of tragedy has befallen me these last twelve months, and quite frankly, I’m tired of it. I’m tired of thinking about it, I’m tired of it defining me, and I want to set a few things straight.
I still love life.
Sure, some terrible stuff has happened, but as of right now I am done with it. I want to focus on the positives, I want to see and to be a light again. I want to look back on these last twelve months and laugh.
This year, I’ve met a multitude of new people, ranging from a great summer cast to a group of lounge dwellers, all of whom I consider family. I love that I can remember dances from HSM2. I love that no matter where I go and how dramatic or mopey I’m being, I am always reminded that I am loved. I love that every time I log into facebook—this God-forsaken addiction— that I get some sort of chat message from a friend back home that might just say “I miss you.” I love that I never have reason to feel alone. I love that I not only have my parents looking out for me everyday (which I love very much), but I also have the parents of my FRIENDS treating me like their own child. I love that when I am stupid, I have friends from Texas to New York who will tell me, “Hey, Davin, you’re being stupid.” I love that I’m surrounded by people who inspire me to write, to sing, to learn guitar, to GO TO CLASS, to be loud during quiet hours, to watch terrifying youtube videos, to lace my shoes all funky-like, to take a road trip, to take a chance. I love that I can make mistakes and be forgiven. I love that I can be myself and not be judged. I love spontaneous lunches, I love playing addictinggames during lecture, I love Sunday nap sessions, I love when I serve people pears and they smile and say, “Thank you!” as if it were the highlight of their day. I love staying up til 4 in the morning and talking about nothing as if I was in 8th grade again. I love finding notecards in the most spontaneous places, places that I wouldn’t have normally ever looked, and spreading those little beacons all over my desk to remind me that the sun will always rise in the morning, and everything I just listed will still be there.
I love that my computer just crashed, and google chrome saved this entire message. I also love my apathy towards this note’s melodrama because it’s 2:30 in the morning and I had an energy drink earlier.
I’m tired of being eaten away by negativity, so NO MAS. I miss the fun-loving light that I used to be, so I’m doing something about it, and for starters, I want to apologize to all of you for the down-in-the-dumps-Davin (alliteration? yes please) you’ve seen for the last few months. I love you, and YOU have made my life incredible, so it’s time for me to start showing how grateful I am— and I am so incredibly, exceedingly grateful.
This should have happened much sooner, but guys, I’m wanna come back. And I am going to. And you can’t do anything to stop me because, honestly, life is way too good.
I don’t actually have anything to talk about on this particular night.
Valentine’s day was yesterday (plus a technical 23 minutes). I love Valentine’s Day. PLUS it’s officially the year of the tiger as of yesterday. Tigers in love. Now that’s what I like to hear.
More to come!